hopeless (but you give me hope)
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Titanic, Zombie!au. Regulus and Sirius just want to get through the trip to New York without their mother throwing them overboard, but there's strange happenings afoot, and the 'unsinkable' ship isn't quite holding up to it's reputation. Warning for character death and zombies.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise. **

_Written for Lucy—I hope you enjoy it, love. _

**Word Count** \- 10,940

_All the thanks to Kim, Ari, Elizabeth and Jane for giving me ideas and betaing for me. I appreciate you guys._

**AN:** Also, let it be noted that this is... not historically accurate because I can't do 'proper' speech and old-timey things and... things, so... sorry? I mean, it's zombies and titanic, so it was never going to be the most... realistic story, right? _Yikes_. Enjoy anyway?

* * *

**hopeless (but you give me hope) **

* * *

The ship was a work of art. Imposing and majestic, it sat proudly at dockside as it awaited its passengers to embark. There was a flurry of activity on the dock itself, staff taking suitcases for loading, passengers staring up at the vessel excitedly, some practically bouncing on their heels as they waited for their first look inside the ship.

Regulus leant against a gleaming silver rail, a bored expression on his face. He didn't even understand why they were here, besides his mother's need to be the first at everything even remotely thought of as prestigious.

He didn't particularly relish the thought of spending days trapped onboard the ship in the middle of the ocean. As large as the Titanic was, it still wasn't large enough to spend so many days trapped there with his family.

He could only imagine the torturous meals spent with his mother glaring at his brother, Sirius, and Sirius passively aggressively hating everything about the experience on principle. Honestly, Regulus was surprised Sirius had even been ordered to join them. He'd have expected his mother to jump at the chance to leave her disappointing son home with their butler, Mr Kreacher.

Not that Sirius would have complained about that. He'd spent most of the morning trying to escape his mother's watchful eye long enough to get out of the docks before the ship sailed for warmer waters.

His mother sniffed, drawing his attention. She was looking across the large concrete waiting area, a faint air of disgust surrounding her. Regulus followed her gaze and barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

The Potters had arrived, and his mother clearly hadn't been expecting them. A rather ridiculous assumption, as far as Regulus was concerned. The Potters were as rich, if not slightly more so, than the Blacks, and they were known to have business in America quite often.

It was no wonder that they, too, were sailing on the Titanic's maiden voyage to New York. Regulus glanced at Sirius and nudged his elbow slightly, nodding the Potters way when Sirius looked at him.

The small smile on Sirius' face made Regulus' own lips quirk slightly. Sirius had met the Potter's son, James, a few times at the parties he was forced to attend now that he was twenty one. He got on well with the Potter heir, much to their mother's displeasure.

"At least I'll have someone to talk to," Sirius muttered under his breath. "I feared I was going to die of boredom."

Regulus snorted quietly, looking away quickly when the sound drew their mother's gaze.

"Regulus," she snapped. "Stand up straight!"

He straightened his spine automatically, taking his arm from the railing. His mother was a stickler for good posture; she thought slouching was a sign of being common and wouldn't stand for it from her sons.

More and more families arrived, some greeting others cheerfully, others greeting those of importance because it was the way things were done. Many of them offered their greetings to Orion and Walburga, though not once did Regulus see anything resembling genuinity in their eyes.

Nobody liked the Black parents, but due to their stature and their place in society, they deferred to them more often than not regardless.

Regulus tired of it, and he was only nineteen. He didn't even have to attend the pretentious parties yet.

"They'll be boarding soon," one of the staff said, bowing slightly when Walburga snapped for his attention. "You will be amongst the first onboard."

Walburga nodded stiffly, as though she expected nothing different. Regulus thought she probably didn't.

"Orion!" an old man greeted, the first to sound actually glad to see Regulus' father. "How are you, old friend?"

Orion nodded with a smile, grasping the man's hand in his own. "I'm very good, Thaddeus. I didn't realise you'd be travelling with us."

"I designed the ship, it's only right that I sail it's maiden voyage, no?"

"Of course," Orion agreed. "This is my wife, Walburga, and my sons, Sirius and Regulus. We're all quite eager to see the inside of the beautiful vessel."

"As well you should," Thaddeus replied. "She is magnificent, if I do say so myself. Excuse me, I must speak with the Captain for a moment. I will see you later tonight at dinner. I believe you're at my table."

Orion nodded, and Thaddeus left as a whistle sounded out. They were finally calling out for boarding, and Regulus was shuffled forwards by his mother's hand on his back. Around them, excited chatter picked up as the crowd surged towards the ship.

Walburga pushed Regulus through, Orion and Sirius a step behind them, until they were close to the front of the crowd. She stepped in front of him then, and he barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes.

Of course she wanted to be the first of them on the ship.

They walked up the gangway and were welcomed by four men in the foyer of the ship, each of them uniformed smartly and holding trays with glasses of champagne.

Regulus didn't take one. He'd never been a fan of champagne, despite his mother's many, many lessons on the drink. It didn't taste nice, and he didn't care how much a single bottle of it could cost, he didn't want to ingest something that he didn't like.

He was much more a fan of his father's favoured brand of whiskey, though he'd only dared sneak some a couple of times. While his father wasn't as strict as his mother, whiskey was one of the few sacrilegious things to the man, and it wasn't often worth the sharp sting of his belt for the momentary pleasure of the burn in his throat and the lightheadedness that accompanied it.

The inside of the ship was as magnificent as the outer shell, or at least, the foyer and the staircase attached to it were. Decorated in shades of red and gold, it looked rich and grandiose in a way that Regulus had never seen before.

Even the manor didn't look quite so dignified, and his mother had put entirely too much effort into making sure their home was the most affluent around.

"Allow me to guide you to your rooms," one of the porters offered, waving his hand out in front of him towards the staircase.

Regulus fell into step beside his brother, behind their parents as they were led up the main staircase and then three more, to one of the upper decks. They were shown into the rooms and informed that their personal room attendant would be by shortly to greet them and retrieve any specific instructions that they had for their stay aboard the Titanic.

Regulus and Sirius immediately let themselves into their shared room and closed the door behind them, putting a little bit of distance between themselves and their mother.

"At least the beds are comfortable," Regulus said, sitting on the edge of one of the two beds in the room and bouncing slightly.

"The comfort of the bed will be the least of your worries if the ship is bouncing on the waves, Reg," Sirius replied, slumping down against the pillows of his own bed. "Then you'll be hugging the toilet bowl and praying for mercy."

"I might not be seasick," Regulus argued, though he knew it was weak. He'd suffered motion sickness for all of his life, and they both knew that if they hit any particularly bad waters, Regulus would be the first to fall.

"And I might have fun," Sirius replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Do you think I could possibly escape now while Mother is occupied complaining about nonexistent problems to the poor room attendant?"

Regulus snorted and shook his head. "She'd sniff you out before you had even managed to get down the first staircase, and you know it."

Sirius nodded and closed his eyes. "Most likely. I swear, she made a deal with the devil and gained eyes in the back of her head just to spite me."

"Bold of you to assume that she had a soul to bargain with," Regulus grumbled.

Sirius snorted. "Brother! You're supposed to be the good one, although admittedly, I hear no lie in your words."

"I'm not the good one, I'm just the youngest," Regulus replied. "Anything worth doing in rebellion, you've already done. You really didn't leave me much to play with, Sirius."

"You just have to use a little imagination," Sirius replied. "Come on, let's go and explore the decks a little. Mother should allow that much, at least."

…

Regulus leant against the railings, Sirius at his side, as they watched the Southampton dock fade into the distance. The sail away had been bustling, but now that they were on their way, the deck had quietened a little; enough so that the two of them had space to stand without jostling with another for standing room, at least.

"Sirius!"

Sirius turned and grinned, and Regulus watched as James Potter approached them, his dark brown hair blowing in the sea breeze. He was an attractive man, Regulus thought. He had eyes the colour of molten chocolate, and a smile that Regulus wasn't ashamed to admit he'd love to be the cause of.

"James," Sirius greeted, the two of them sharing a manly hug when Sirius turned around fully to greet his friend. Sirius stepped back and gestured to Regulus. "This is my little brother, Regulus."

James held his hand out to Regulus, and they shook. Regulus couldn't help but notice the smoothness of James' skin, a contrast against the callouses on the tips of his fingers.

"Pleased to meet you," James said, giving Regulus a clear once over.

If Regulus was a lesser man, he'd have blushed bright red at the barely concealed appreciation in James' eyes.

"Likewise," Regulus replied as they dropped their hands to their sides. Regulus turned his attention back to the water as Sirius and James chattered. He was a little amazed that despite knowing that they were in fact moving, there was very little movement to be felt.

Perhaps he wouldn't spend the whole trip wrapped around the toilet bowl after all.

"What about you, Regulus?" James asked, drawing his attention once more.

"Hmm?"

"Are you looking forward to dinner? If my father is to be believed, the head chef is world class."

Regulus shrugged. "I tend to not enjoy the fancier meals," he admitted. "Despite my mother's best efforts, I'm happier eating simple meals."

"We were both born into the wrong family," Sirius said, grinning. "Only a little while ago, Regulus was reprimanding me for already annoying our mother with all the best rebellions."

James laughed, freely and loud, and it sounded wonderful to Regulus' ears. "Oh, I'm sure with a little imagination you could think of something."

"The two of you are two peas in a pod," Regulus said, looking between James and his brother. "Sirius had much the same opinion."

"Well then," James replied. "I'm sure between the three of us, we can think of something suitably rebellious for you to enrage your mother with."

Regulus felt his cheeks heat despite him, and he inwardly cursed himself. "Perhaps. Of course, if I enrage her enough while we're aboard, she may just throw me over and be done."

Sirius snorted and nodded. "She could make it look like an accident, too."

"Precisely," Regulus agreed.

"We'll avenge you," James promised. "And mourn for many months. I'll be sure to only ever wear black again in your memory."

Regulus looked over the well fitted grey suit James was wearing and shook his head. "That would be a cruelty to the world I would never want to inflict. Perhaps we should plan to enrage her once she cannot just throw me into the sea?"

He was pleased to see the light flush of pleasure on James' cheeks at the subtle flirt, and he smiled to himself slightly.

"Sirius! Regulus!"

The brothers groaned simultaneously and then turned towards their mother, who was stalking across the deck towards them, her face like thunder.

"You were supposed to be back in your room ten minutes ago," she snarled at the two of them. "Move yourself. Now."

James raised his eyebrows slightly and mouthed the word 'wow' as he turned his head away.

"I'll see you both at dinner," he said out loud, stepping to the side out of the way, as the two of them followed their mother across the deck.

She was ranting about their lack of good timekeeping, and Regulus could barely stop himself from sighing. It was going to be a long week.

…

The dining area was as beautiful as the other parts of the ship Regulus had seen. Each place setting was laid with gold plates and cutlery, the napkins perfectly placed in their rings, and the tabled and chairs were made of the highest standard dark wood.

Regulus sat down between Sirius and a currently empty seat and nodded when the waiter offered to fill his water glass.

"Sirius, Regulus," James greeted, as he took the seat beside Regulus, his parents seating themselves on James' other side.

One glance at his mother confirmed what Regulus already knew; by tomorrow, the table settings would be shifted so that the Blacks and the Potters were no longer seated together.

As the adults exchanged stiff greetings and pleasantries and Thaddeus the ship designer joined them along with two other people to complete their table of ten, Regulus turned his attention to James.

As much as he'd enjoyed the grey suit from earlier, he had to admit, black was most certainly kind to James, too. The tux fit him like a second skin, clearly tailored to him personally, and he looked extremely handsome.

His hair was still as messy as it had been on the deck, and Regulus' lips quirked. "You left your brush home when you packed for the trip?"

James smirked. "My hair has a mind of its own. It refuses to fall victim to something so simple as a brush—or gravity."

"Impressive," Regulus replied.

"Oh, you'll find there's much about me that's impressive," James said, tone lower, more intimate.

Regulus blushed and looked away. He hated that he couldn't seem to control his reactions to James the same way he could usually.

The starters were served, and as Regulus had feared, the food was fanciful and small, made more to pander to those who felt like they needed pretentious food rather than wholesome food that would actually fill them up.

He picked at the Hors D'oeuvres on his plate, wrinkling his nose at the smell permeating. It wasn't the most attractive scent; despite that, most of the other diners seemed to be enjoying their food.

Sirius picked at his plate carefully when their mother wasn't looking. She often got mad at Regulus for his pickiness, and the last thing they needed on their first night was her making a scene at the dinner table.

The second and third courses were just as bad, with a consomme olga followed by a savoury mousseline. Not that the flavours were terrible, but the texture of the mousseline made Regulus cringe.

He ate in small bites, trying to move the food around the plate rather than eat it.

The fourth course was better, sirloin of beef with chateau potatoes, and finally, Regulus felt like he'd been given food he could actually eat, although he didn't hold out hope for the rest of the courses to be more of the same.

Never would he understand why a ten course meal was necessary, particularly when the courses were quite so small. Perhaps if they served real meals, they wouldn't have to serve quite so _many _of them.

"I never thought I'd actually miss Mr Kreacher," Sirius muttered, soft enough for only Regulus to hear him. "But at least he only tortures us with three courses a night, rather than ten."

Regulus could only nod his agreement. While he didn't have quite the fraught relationship with Mr Kreacher that Sirius had always had, the butler was still a grumpy man with too many opinions on the behaviour of the younger members of the family he served.

They slowly forced their way through four more courses, until only dessert remained.

"Do you have any plans for after dinner?" James asked, turning away from the conversation going on around the rest of the table.

"Not really," Regulus replied. In all honesty he'd been planning on curling up on his bed with one of the books he'd managed to sneak into his case, but he couldn't admit that when there was a possibility that his mother could hear.

She wasn't a fan of Regulus' love of the written word.

"Perhaps you'd join me for a walk around the upper decks? The evening looks to be a beautiful one after all."

Regulus hesitated. Sirius kicked his ankle and nodded slightly when Regulus glanced his way.

"Okay. I… yeah. I can do that."

James smiled that same smile from the deck and Regulus couldn't bring himself to regret his recklessness. When the dessert was served, he ate every bite, barely tasting the peaches in chartreuse jelly.

…

Sirius stood at the far back end of the ship, leaning over the railings to see the water rushing beneath the ship as it moved forwards. The white foam made the random shapes in the water, and he tilted his head slightly.

It was almost the same as lying back on the grass and making shapes in the clouds. Almost.

He sighed to himself. He didn't want to be here. Not on the ship, not approaching America, not sharing such close quarters with his mother.

He didn't think New York would make Walburga like him anymore than she did in London, and honestly, he preferred familiar surroundings when he had to deal with her vitriol. At least in London, he knew where he was going when he left the house to escape her.

"Not planning to jump, are you?"

Sirius turned to see a man around his age, wearing a _cardigan _and a pair of slacks, a book beneath his arms. Sirius didn't realise that real people actually wore cardigans, especially not people younger than seventy.

"Wasn't considering it, no," he replied, turning away from the man. "Though the idea isn't without merit."

The man joined him at the railings. "Ah, but if you jump now, I'd have to follow you. You don't want me to get my cardigan wet, do you? It's my favourite one."

Sirius snorted. "Oh, in that case, I'll keep my feet firmly on the deck, shall I?"

"I'd appreciate it," the man replied with a soft smile. "I'm Remus."

"Sirius."

"So, what were you contemplating so seriously?" Remus asked, looking down at the white foam flying out from the propellers.

"Nothing important," Sirius replied. "Are you enjoying the ship so far?"

"What I've seen of it," Remus replied. "I don't actually think I'm supposed to be up here but… the door was open."

"You're in third class? What's it like down there?"

"We're tight on space but it's comfortable enough," Remus replied. "Though it's noisy. That's why I decided to come up here. I thought I might be able to find somewhere quiet to read my book."

Sirius nodded. "Well, don't let me interrupt."

"Oh, I don't know. I think you're quite a nice interruption to my plans," Remus replied with a cheeky smile.

Sirius met his eyes, and for a moment, he thought that maybe the Titanic wasn't completely hopeless after all.

…

"Are you looking forward to getting to New York?" James asked, as they walked side by side around the highest passenger deck.

Regulus shrugged. "Not particularly. I have no idea what my parents have planned for our arrival, though I'm quite sure that I won't get much chance to explore the city. I don't know if you noticed, but my Mother has us on quite a short leash."

"If you can escape, we should meet up in the city. My folks will be busy with business during our stay there, but I could show you around New York. It'll be fun."

"If only," Regulus replied.

"Well, we did say that we'd help you come up with your own rebellions. Perhaps that could be one of them," James suggested with a twinkle in his eye.

Regulus laughed softly. If only James knew that just by being here, with James and feeling the way he was feeling, he was committing the biggest rebellion he possibly could against his mother's views.

She expected him to find a wife and marry, and yet… finding a _wife _was entirely the last thing on Regulus' mind as he looked at James.

"The stars are so clear out here," he said, after clearing his throat and looking away. "It's never this clear at night back home."

James nodded. "Unsurprising, when you think of the many factories in London. It's lovely to see though."

Before Regulus could reply, there was a commotion on the deck lower. A few bangs, a shout and a… well, it sounded like a snarl, animalistic and loud, but that couldn't be right.

Regulus and James exchanged a look, each raising their eyebrows, before they turned with perfect synchronicity towards the stairs, both of them eager to investigate the source of the noise.

Except, when they stepped onto the deck, there was nothing to be found. The deck was empty apart from two workers, one of them sweeping and the other walking away from their position, his hands in his pocket, seemingly perfectly at ease.

"Odd," James commented.

"Uh huh," Regulus agreed, before he shrugged. He turned and then smiled when he saw Sirius at the other side of the stairs, a stranger at his back.

"You heard it too?" He asked, when they joined together in the middle.

"The snarling sound? Yeah. Did you see anything?"

James shook his head. "No, it was definitely odd."

Sirius pursed his lips thoughtfully and then shrugged. "Oh well. Erm, this is Remus. Remus, this is my little brother, Regulus, and our friend, James."

"Nice to meet you," Remus said, ducking his head a little.

Regulus knew the expression on Sirius' face, he recognised the twinkle in his eyes, and he'd put money on the fact that Sirius was currently completely charmed by Remus.

"I think I'm ready to turn in for the night," he said, smiling at his brother. "I'll see you later?"

Sirius' eyes widened for a moment before he reached out and squeezed Regulus' shoulder. "See you later, Reg."

"I'll walk you back on my way to my room," James said, looking between Sirius and Remus for a moment.

Regulus grinned and nodded. "It was nice to meet you, Remus."

The two of them walked down the deck and slipped inside through the double doors. James rested a hand on Regulus' back and looked down at him hesitantly.

Regulus glanced up at him and smiled, doing nothing to dislodge the contact. When they reached the door to Regulus' room, he smiled at James.

"See you tomorrow?"

"I'm sure I'll see you in my dreams first," James replied. Like a true gentleman, he picked Regulus' hand up in both of his own and pressed a lingering kiss to the back of it. "But yes, I'll see you at breakfast."

Regulus nodded, and slipped into his room. The back of his hand tingled.

…

Sirius walked along the corridor, his mind still on his last moments with Remus before they parted for the evening. He'd thought, for a moment, that Remus was going to kiss him, but he'd turned away at the last moment, his cheeks flushing pink. It was adorable, and though Sirius wished that he had, in fact, kissed him, he wasn't mad that he'd gotten the pleasure of seeing that little shy smile.

He was about to open the door to his room when he saw James lounging against the wall besides his own room.

"Night cap?" he offered, raising his eyebrow at Sirius.

Sirius shrugged. "Why not."

He followed James into his own room and sat down in one of the royal blue cushioned chairs. James poured each of them a generous measure of whisky each and say down across from him.

"So…"

"Fair warning," Sirius said, a smirk on his face. "Hurt my little brother, and they'll never find your body."

James snorted. "Abrupt and to the point, I like it."

Sirius shrugged. "I see the way you look at him."

"Is it anything like the way you look at Remus?" James asked slyly. "You seem quite taken with him."

"He's... different," Sirius admitted, thoughtfully. "But I like that. He's like nobody I've ever met before. I mean… the guy wears cardigans."

"Do you like him or his fashion choices?" James asked, laughing.

"Both? I don't know but… he's planning to stay in New York, you know? He got a ticket from the little inheritance he got when his parents passed and he wants to start a new life out there, where he might have more opportunities."

James pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Hmm. He seems like a decent chap. If you like him, I say go for it."

"It'd only hurt more to return to England without him," Sirius said, circling the rim of his glass with the tip of his finger. "Is it worth it, when I'd have to leave him behind in a few weeks?"

"Maybe you don't have to leave him behind?" James suggested. "You're always talking about escaping your mother… maybe this could be the opportunity you've been looking for?"

Sirius shook his head firmly. "I won't leave Regulus behind to her mercy. If I stay, it'll only be if I can convince him to do the same. He's my little brother and it's my job to protect him, even if technically he's an adult now."

James smiled. "You're a good brother, Sirius."

"So… have you kissed him yet?"

"I'm not that kinda girl, Mr Black," James simpered, making Sirius laugh. They sobered and James shook his head. "I really like him. I don't just want a quick holiday romance with him, y'know? I'd like to get to know him properly."

Sirius nodded. "Good answer. I really don't want to have to kill you, James. Please don't make me."

"Cross my heart."

…

James was waiting for them eagerly the following morning, and as soon as they were excused from the table, he tugged them out onto the deck, a wide smile on his face.

Regulus was struggling to keep his composure. The dreams he'd had the night before made it difficult to look at James without blushing. Sirius had spent much of the morning sniggering at him as he shifted uncomfortably at the breakfast table whenever he looked at the Potters two tables over.

"Where are we going?" Sirius asked, a whine in his voice. He'd been planning on going back to bed after breakfast. Regulus wasn't surprised. He'd woken up briefly when Sirius stumbled into the room and he'd been able to smell the alcohol across the room.

"Shuffleboard!"

"You're making me face the sun at ass o'clock in the morning, to play _shuffleboard?_" Sirius demanded. "Are you _insane?!" _

They rounded the corner and saw Remus waiting for them, a sheepish smile on his face. Sirius brightened immediately and James laughed.

"Yes, mate, I'm definitely insane."

"Don't know what you're talking about," Sirius replied airily. "It's a great morning for shuffleboard."

"We should play in teams," James suggested. "Regulus? Join me?"

Regulus nodded and smiled. "Of course. You're going down, Sirius."

Sirius grinned. "We'll see about that, little brother. Remus and I got this."

"How did you sneak him up here?" Regulus asked James quietly, while Sirius approached Remus.

"I had one of our room stewards send for him. He's up here as my guest, and if I have anything to say about it, he'll be up here quite a lot."

Regulus grinned. "Are you trying to set my brother up, James?"

"I don't think much 'setting up' is needed," James replied, nodding his head slightly towards Sirius and Remus.

"You're not wrong," Regulus agreed. The way Sirius was looking at Remus told Regulus all he needed to know about how his brother felt. "It's nice to see him smile like that. I haven't seen it in a long time."

"Shall we play?" James asked, gesturing to the board painted onto the decking.

"Let's."

…

They ate a quick lunch at one of the smaller eating rooms, bantering cheerfully about who had won the game—Regulus and James—and then made their way up onto the top deck to enjoy the sea breeze. Luckily, they managed to commandeer one of the tables to themselves, and they whiled away the hours chatting between themselves.

It wasn't hot, but the sun was shining brightly overhead and the breeze wasn't too bad, so long as they kept their jackets on.

Regulus zoned out of the conversation for a few moments, and his attention was caught by three of the staff just across the deck, whispering rapidly between themselves. He couldn't hear their words, but they seemed to be arguing with each other, and two of the three men looked terribly worried.

"I wonder what that's about," he said, nodding his head towards them.

"Isn't that one of the men on the deck last night?" Regulus asked, frowning at the one that looked the least concerned. "When we heard the banging?"

"Is it?" Remus asked. "I didn't see his face properly."

"Something is definitely going on," Sirius said, his brow furrowing. "That noise last night wasn't nothing, it sounded like an animal in pain or something, and as far as I know, animals weren't allowed on the ship."

"Nothing to do with us," Remus said, shaking his head. "I'm sure it's something of nothing."

"You're not curious?" James asked.

Remus shrugged. "I suppose I just count myself lucky to be here at all. I don't want to push my luck, you know?"

Sirius sighed but shrugged, and the four of them watched as the men walked off quickly, the two worried ones in one direction, and the angry one stalked off the opposite way.

"You're right," Sirius decided. "It's none of our business."

…

"Where is your brother?"

Regulus looked up to meet his mother's eyes. "He's not feeling well, he's sleeping."

She scowled. "He should be here."

Regulus cursed Sirius in his mind and then said, "He was feeling sick, mother. It would have been most embarrassing if he'd vomited all over the dinner table, no?"

"When you see him, tell him I expect him at breakfast, no excuses," she snapped, turning away from Regulus.

"You handled that well," James said lowly. They were sitting side by side at the dinner table, James taking over Sirius' usual duty of picking at Regulus' food whenever he could. "Sirius is with Remus?"

Regulus nodded. "Yeah. Remus said that he wanted to show Sirius around the lower decks and… well, Sirius can't seem to resist him."

"I know that feeling," James replied lightly. The look in his eyes… Regulus ducked his head and looked away.

"I like you, Mr Black," James added softly. "Very much."

"I like you too," Regulus admitted, voice little more than a whisper. "A lot."

…

Sirius loved third class. Gone were the stuffy suits, the air of condescension and pretentiousness and the uppity eons of the first class lounges and bars. Instead, he was with people that like to drink, to dance, to talk like normal humans and to have _fun. _

Add in Remus' presence at his side, and it was practically heaven.

"This is brilliant," he murmured to Remus, as he watched the young men and women dance a merry jeg in between the overstuffed tables. "Thank you for bringing me down here."

Remus nodded. "I… you seem like you belong here more so than with the suits upstairs."

"I think… I think maybe I just belong next to you, wherever that might be," Sirius said, tugging Remus closer.

Their lips pressed together in a simple kiss, followed by a longer, deeper one seconds later.

"Stay with me in New York," Remus offered, his cheeks flushed though Sirius didn't know if it was through happiness or shyness. "If you feel like you belong beside me, then _stay _beside me."

"It's not that simple," Sirius insisted, though he wanted nothing more than to shout yes as loud as he could. "Regulus—"

"I think James will be more than happy to take over looking after Regulus," Remus interrupted gently. "James looks at Regulus the same way you look at me."

"You think?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, Sirius. I think. Kiss me again, please?"

…

Regulus looked up from his book when Sirius slipped quietly into the room.

"Hey," he greeted softly, lips twitching when Sirius jumped and cursed quietly.

"I thought you'd be asleep already," Sirius said, as he quickly stripped his clothes and climbed into bed.

"Did you have a good time?" Regulus asked. "What's third class like?"

"You'd like it," Sirius said, smiling. "They eat normal food for a start and it's just… it's relaxing, not having to play up to Mother's demands, you know?"

"Yeah?"

"I, uh. Remus, he… I kissed him."

Regulus smiled. "Took you long enough."

"We met him yesterday!"

"And you usually have your conquests in bed within a few hours," Regulus countered.

"He's… different. He, um. He asked me to stay with him. In New York."

Regulus' eyes widened. "You… are you going to?"

Sirius looked away and shook his head. "No. I won't leave you alone to deal with—"

"Don't use me as your excuse to run away because you're scared," Regulus said, interrupting Sirius firmly.

"I'm not!" Sirius snapped. "I won't leave you to deal with her alone, Reg!"

"I won't be the thing that stands between you and your happiness, Sirius," Regulus replied. "If Remus is your happiness… you've got to take the chance. You know that."

"What about—"

"No," Regulus said. "I'm not saying that you have to stay, Sirius. If it's not what you want, then that's fine, but if it is… you're never going to get a better chance to be free. I say take it."

Sirius looked at him for a long moment and then smiled. "Thanks Reg."

...

Sirius could barely keep the glee off his face. This would forever go down as the greatest night of his life, and it had barely even begun.

His mother was _raging. _Not only had her request for the Potter's to be moved to a different table gone unheeded, but Remus had agreed to join them as James' guest for the evening, and Walburga was _horrified _to be seated at the same table as a _commoner. _

"This is _beautiful,"_ Regulus murmured in his ear, and he nodded, grinning.

"It really is."

James' unconcealed amusement told Regulus that he knew exactly what he was doing when he'd invited Remus to join them.

"Did you boys have a good day?" Mrs Potter asked them, a kind smile on her face.

"Yes, Ma'am," Regulus replied. James squeezed his thigh under the table and smiled at him. "We swam a little this morning and spent some time in the library this afternoon."

Mrs Potter nodded. "That sounds wonderful. You boys should join Fleamont in the smoking room this evening after dinner."

James nodded. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, Mum. I'd like Father to get to know Regulus a little more."

"I would have thought you'd prefer to spend time with your… guest," Walburga said, sneering at Remus.

James frowned. "He was included in my plans, Mrs Black."

"A _commoner_? Joining the men after dinner?"

Sirius opened his mouth, anger evident in every part of him, but he was interrupted from speaking by a commotion across the dining room.

"What on earth—" Mrs Potter gasped, as everyone in the dining room turned their heads.

Across the room, a staggering figure had fallen through the doors. It looked… Regulus squinted, sure that he couldn't possibly be seeing what he thought he was seeing. The person was clearly ill beyond anything Regulus had ever seen before but he couldn't actually be—

Drawing a collective gasp, the figure moved over to the nearest person—a waiter carrying a basket of bread rolls—gripped his shirt, and _bit into his arm. _

"Damn son, I know it's dinner time but—"

"Not the time, Sirius," Regulus said, digging his elbow into Sirius' ribs.

Three of the deck hands approached cautiously, but before everyone's eyes, the bitten waiter seemed to deteriorate.

"I told him," Regulus heard behind them and he turned to see the two men that had been arguing worriedly with the third on the deck the day before. "I told him!"

"Holy shit!"

Regulus looked at James and then back to the happenings across the room and blinked. The waiter looked… well. He looked dead. Much as the first had.

A crash and then a smash of a window and another man, looking just as bad, clambered clumsily in through the window, hands already reaching for the closest person.

Pandemonium reigned, and the screams begun, people scrambling from their tables as fast as they could.

James grabbed Regulus' hands and tugged him up as yet more of the stumbling people found their way into the dining room. Remus and Sirius were but a step behind them as they left the table, their parents following on.

It seemed to happen in slow motion. The four of them were running, occasionally stumbling over each other's heels as they fled the dining room. James clutched as Regulus' hand, tugging him along as he dodged the attacking people.

None of them had the faintest idea of what was going on, but the screams and panic told them that they had little choice but to try and get somewhere else, somewhere safe.

They raced up the stairs as fast as their legs could carry them, and for a moment, Regulus' heart was in his mouth as one of the attackers latched onto Sirius' leg.

A well aimed kick from Remus got him free and then they were running down the corridor towards the room Regulus and Sirius shared.

Only when the door was locked and bolted behind them did Regulus let himself relax a little, slumping against the wall.

"What the actual fuck was that?" James asked, panting heavily.

"I really, _really, _don't want to—"

"Zombies," Sirius said, interrupting Remus.

"That," Remus finished, pointing at Sirius. "But honestly, it… I mean, I can't think of any other explanation for it."

"Zombies aren't… real," Regulus said, though he sounded unsure, even to his own ears. "The walking dead is fantasy, and regardless of that, we're on a ship _in the middle of the ocean." _

"I didn't say it was logical," Sirius said, shrugging his shoulders. "But what other explanation have you got for that… whatever that was. People were _biting _each other, and then minutes later, the bitten people were _looking a little worse for wear, _Reg. Like, dead worse for wear. And biting."

Regulus chuckled, and soon, the four of them were laughing hard, hysteria apparently catching in the small room.

"What the hell do we do now?" James asked, when they'd calmed down.

Regulus shook his head. "If it's anything that begins with leaving this room, you can count me out entirely."

"We can't stay in here indefinitely," James said apologetically. "We don't have any food or enough water in here for a start."

"I… really don't want to go back out there," Sirius said, shaking his head. "But I can't see any other options. And… maybe they're all still in the dining room, Reg? If we go out and then round and down a few decks, maybe we can find the food stockpile?"

Remus nodded. "We need enough food and water to last at least a few days, but we also need to know what the hell is going on. If it's not contained, whatever it is, we're going to be in huge amounts of trouble. We're sitting on a vessel in the middle of the ocean with no way off."

"What if we commandeered one of the lifeboats?" Sirius suggested. "They'll all have flares on them, so if we can get one down into the water and get away from the ship, we could… maybe we could find another ship, or signal one if we see one in the distance?"

"That's… not a bad plan at all," James agreed, nodding his head.

"Can we… I need to go down and get my things," Remus said, running a hand through his tawny hair.

"We can buy you new things, pal," James promised, but Remus shook his head.

"I have a book that my mother gave me, I won't leave it behind. It's… it's the last thing I have of hers."

Regulus closed his eyes for a moment. While he didn't really understand that kind of bond with a parent—their mother wasn't exactly the nurturing kind after all—he knew that if he only had one thing left of Sirius' then he'd feel exactly the same.

"Yeah, okay. If Remus needs to get that then… I guess that's what we're doing first. We'll take the back way and hope for the best?" Regulus said, looking at James.

James twisted his lips but then he nodded, something softening in his eyes. "Okay."

…

The corridor was empty, though the sounds of screams could still be heard faintly from the lower decks. The four men walked slowly, pausing every few seconds to listen carefully for signs of movement of sound around them. Out on the deck, at the opposite end to where they were, people could be seen huddled together in groups.

Regulus' heart pounded in his chest painfully as adrenaline ran through his veins. They cautiously made their way to the stairwell that would hopefully lead them all the way down to Remus' deck, and pushed the door open.

Nobody was there.

"Come on," Sirius said lowly, making sure to keep his footsteps light on the steps. Even so, the sounds of their shoes on the marble flooring seemed horrendously loud to Regulus' ears.

They passed one of the deck openings, and heard raised voices. Each of them stopped, pressing themselves against the wall as they listened carefully.

"—it wasn't supposed to be this way!"

"I have the cure, I just need to go and get it!"

"You have enough for the entire ship? Because that's what it's going to come too at the rate they're biting, Thaddeus!"

Regulus blinked. The designer of the ship? What—

"Yes, there's enough. It's a spray, an almost instant cure."

"Why on earth did you take the chance of bringing Frederick on board, if you had a cure?"

Regulus took a chance, looking around the door casing quickly, before he pulled back. He stared wide eyed at the others.

"It's the Captain!" he hissed. "With Thaddeus."

"I have the cure, but I need the labs in New York to reverse engineer the virus! Frederick turned and killed the doctors I had working on him in England, I had no choice but to bring him with me before the virus is lost forever!"

"You should have let it be lost! Are you insane, man?"

James nodded to the stairs, and the others nodded, creeping down until they knew they couldn't be heard.

"There's a cure," Remus said as soon as they were in the clear. "If we can find it, we can fix this!"

"Maybe we should split up?" James suggested. "Two go down to get Remus' stuff, and two of us can—"

"No," Sirius said, glancing at Regulus. "We're staying together."

…

"Son of a—" Sirius kicked the zombie away as Remus and Regulus pulled James from his grip, but the damage was already done. The teeth marks in James' skin made time stop for Regulus for a moment as he stared at them in horror.

"No," he muttered. "No, no, no, no!"

James met his eyes and the sadness there was too much for Regulus to deal with. "I'm sorry, Regulus."

"What? Why are you—"

"I had so many plans for… I guess that doesn't matter now."

"Of course it does," Regulus argued. "We're going to fix this, you heard Thaddeus! There's a cure for it, James, we just have to find it!"

"It won't be in time," James said faintly, wincing in pain. "You have too… Reg, don't let me turn into one of them. You have to kill me. Just… please, Reg. I don't want to be—"

"In here," Remus shouted, waving his hand furiously. They stumbled over to him and Remus pushed James into a room. He found a piece of rope and looped one end of it through a long pipe that ran the length of the room.

"James, here," he said urgently and understanding dawned on Regulus. He gently pushed James towards the pipe.

"We'll come back for you," he promised. "We'll cure you."

James nodded, holding his hands out for Remus to tie the rope around his wrists, holding him in place.

"You're sure that will hold?" Sirius asked nervously.

Remus nodded. "It will."

James flinched again.

"Go," he gasped out, his whole body twitching. "Please, Regulus. Just go."

Regulus nodded and with a last look at James, he followed Remus and Sirius from the room. They closed the door behind them and ran down the corridor to Remus' room. Remus grabbed his things quickly, stuffing the few unpacked things into his bag.

"Ready," he said, a couple of minutes later. "Now let's go and find—"

His words fell away as the ship lurched suddenly, and all three of them were thrown to the side.

"What the hell?" Sirius demanded.

"Whatever it was, I don't wanna know," Regulus said, shaking his head. "Too much has already gone wrong, I can't deal with anything else right now. I just… we need to find this cure for James. Can we just—"

Sirius softened and nodded. "Of course, Regulus. C'mon. Thaddeus was staying in a suite a few doors down from ours, and the antidote has got to be in his room, right?"

"Right."

…

Regulus frantically checked the doors for Thaddeus' name, skidding to a stop when he finally found the one he'd been looking for. It was locked, but with a look, Sirius had the other two step aside and he kicked the door three times until the wood splintered.

Shouldering it open all the way, he led the way into the room. Nothing seemed out of place, though it didn't remain so for long. They searched through every draw, every space they could see, only to find nothing.

Regulus looked around hopelessly, waiting for something to just jump out at him. He frowned when he saw Remus pulling books from the large bookshelf at random.

"Is this really the time to be searching for new reading material?" he demanded.

Remus shook his head. "No, but some people use fake books as places to stash things."

"Father has some in his office," Sirius reminded Regulus as he joined Remus at the bookcase.

Regulus kept on searching the room until he heard a cry of success from Sirius. When Regulus turned, it was to see a large blue aftershave like bottle with a spray on the top.

"Do you think that's it?"

"Only one way to find out," Sirius said, shrugging.

"And if it's not?"

"It's the only thing in here that looks even remotely like what we need, Reg. If it's not this… we're screwed anyway."

Regulus didn't really have an answer for that. "Is there any more?"

Sirius shook his head, even as Remus opened another book and found another bottle, identical in size and contents.

Regulus held his hand out for it, and Remus handed it over.

"Let's go and test it out."

A bottle he'd dropped earlier rolled into his foot and Regulus stopped, frowning. "Have you noticed?"

Sirius looked at him. "Noticed what?"

"We're listing, pretty badly actually. I didn't… I was focused on finding… but we're definitely listing, Sirius."

"He's right," Remus said, looking down at the floor, where bottle had rolled until they'd been forced to stop by obstacles in their way.

"That jolt earlier… do you think something bad happened?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.

Regulus took a deep breath and then nodded to the door with his head. "Only one way to find out."

They stepped out of the room to run straight into Mr and Mrs Potter.

"Oh, thank god," Mrs Potter said, cupping Regulus' cheek with her hand. "Is James with you?"

"We're going to get him now," Regulus promised her, not expecting to see such terror on her face at his words.

"Where is he?"

"On one of the lower decks—"

"No," she moaned. "The ship, it's sinking, we've been told to get to the upper deck as soon as possible."

She held a large piece of wood in her hand and Sirius pointed to it. "What's the wood for?"

"A blow to the head is enough to stun those… things, if they attack," Mr Potter said, raising his own hand to show a metal bar held tightly.

"Good to know," Sirius said, looking around them for anything they could use. Regulus twitched. He didn't have time for this, especially not if the ship was—

"We'll see you up on the deck," he promised. "I have to go and get James and then—"

"You can't go down there, dear! We'll send some—"

Regulus shook his head and slipped around her, running for the staircase. Remus and Sirius tried to follow him, but Mr and Mrs Potter held them back, herding them towards the other stairs that would take them up to the lifeboat deck.

"REGULUS!" Sirius screamed.

Regulus stopped and turned long enough to shout, "I'll meet you up there!"

And then he continued on his way. If the ship was really sinking… he didn't have time to spare.

…

Regulus fought through the thickening crowds flowing towards the upper decks, ignoring those that called out to him that he was going the wrong way.

He rounded a corner, only to run almost right into one of the _Zombies. _Without thinking, he raised the bottle and pressed the spray cap, right into the thing's face.

He watched, hoping and praying for proof that this would be the thing that fixed James and after a few moments, the change began. Almost like watching the earlier process in reverse, it was like watching the thing come back to life and turn back into a normal human.

"Thank you," the man whispered, pressing his hands to his face. "Whatever that… thank you, thank you."

Regulus nodded and sped past him, continuing down and down and down until he was back on the floor they tied James up. Pushing the door open, he was forced back a little as water flowed through. Bodies lay face down in the water, though Regulus was pretty sure that all of those there were people that had been bitten, if only because of the colour of their skin.

Nobody alive was quite that pale.

He splashed through the rising water, panic clawing at his chest because what if James wasn't there, what if something had happened, what if—

Regulus pushed the door open, eyes wide when he saw how deep the water was around James' legs.

"Shit," he muttered, pushing into the room, fighting the water that was steadily rising against him. In his rush he hadn't noticed how quickly the water was flowing in, but he was certainly noticing it now.

James was pulling at the rope, snarling and snapping in Regulus' direction, a crazed look in his eyes. It wasn't James, even though Regulus knew that it was his body. He got close enough and sprayed the bottle at him, three times, even though he was fully aware that just one spray had been enough to work on the other man.

He wasn't taking any chances with James.

Regulus waited with baited breath, panic rising with the water which was now waist height and still gaining.

"Regulus?" James gasped out, his eyes slowly changing back to the brown that made Regulus think of molten chocolate. "It… you... what the…"

He looked down at the water. "Are you insane?!"

"Yeah, the ship's sinking," Regulus said, fumbling with the knots Remus had tied in the rope to keep James in place. Finally, he managed to pull them loose enough for James to slip his hands out of the loops. "Let's go."

"Regulus, what—"

"No time, let's go. I'll explain later, but we need to not be here okay?"

James nodded and followed Regulus, the pair of them splashing through the water as fast as they could. All around them, bodies of the zombies floated past. Regulus thought he'd never sleep easily again, as he was forced to physically push one of them out of the way for the stairs.

He led the way up, and when they were high enough that the water was doing nothing more than swimming around their feet, Regulus turned and threw himself into James' arms.

"You're okay," he muttered, trying to convince himself as well as James as he squeezed him tight.

James hugged him back just as tight. "I'm okay," he promised. "I… how is the ship sinking?"

"No idea," Regulus said. "We… we need to go, sorry."

And yet, he didn't release James.

"Reg," James prompted after almost a solid minute had passed. "Where are Sirius and Remus?"

"Right," Regulus said, finally unwrapping his arms and stepping back. He was beyond grateful when James immediately reached out to lace their fingers together. "We need to find them. I… yeah, let's go. I, they were with your parents, somewhere on the upper decks."

…

"I'll meet you up there!"

All Sirius could do was watch as Regulus disappeared around the corner.

"I have to go after him," he begged the Potters, even as they pushed him even more steps back.

"He'll come back, dear," Mrs Potter said. "Trust him, and in the meantime, get yourselves to safety. Chasing him now won't do you, or him, any good."

"He shouldn't be alone down there!"

"He won't be, Son," Mr Potter said. "He's going to get James, they'll be fine together, just you wait. Come on, turn around, let's go."

With Remus tugging on his hand, Sirius had little choice but to move in the opposite direction of his little brother, though every step he took just felt like an even bigger betrayal than the last.

The upper deck was filled to bursting, with both humans and zombies. Sirius raised the spray and sprayed it into the first face he saw, heart palpating until the zombie began to change back into a human.

"Let's go and deal with this," he told Remus, raising the bottle in front of him.

They moved away from the Potters and closer to where the crowd of zombies were being held back by wooden and metal sticks and poles. Sirius sprayed everywhere he could pressing forwards as well as he could in the dense crown.

"Holy shit," Remus gasped.

Sirius turned to see what Remus was looking at and his eyes widened when he recognised his mother, face pale and vacant, drool pouring down from the corner of her lips. Her make up had been smudged and she looked almost like a particularly bad caricature of herself.

Sirius hesitated. He knew what he should do, the spray bottle in his hand was her salvation, except turning her into a zombie hadn't actually made her bad. In Sirius' heart, he knew she'd already been evil to the core without being bitten and turned.

"Sirius?"

Sirius looked at Remus and knew that he couldn't just leave his mother. Not when he was clinging so tightly to Remus' hand; Remus, who'd risked his life to go and get the last thing he had to remember his own mother by.

He moved closer and sprayed her directly in the face, before he turned away again. She'd be fine, or maybe she wouldn't because the ship was sinking, but he'd done his best for her.

If she died now… Sirius couldn't say that he'd mourn the woman.

He kept his mind on curing the zombies as best he could, all the while, his eyes moved over the deck constantly, searching for any sign of Regulus.

"They're lowering the lifeboats," Remus said, nodding his head to where they'd left the Potters. Sure enough, there were a few already down in the water, and others were being lowered slowly. "They're not even filling them to capacity! Sirius…. We should go and try and get onto one of those boats. There isn't even close to enough space for everyone."

"I'm not going anywhere until I find Regulus," Sirius said, shaking his head. "But you should… you should go and try and get a seat, Remus. You have all those plans for your future… you should go and try and make them happen."

Remus sighed. "I knew you were going to say that," he said, leaning forwards to press a hard kiss against Sirius' lips. "But… that future doesn't mean much if you won't be there with me."

"I don't want you to die," Sirius replied quietly.

"I don't want to live without you," Remus countered.

Sirius stared into his eyes for a moment before he nodded. How could he argue, when he felt exactly the same way?

…

"There!" Regulus said, pointing to where he could just barely see Sirius' head. He pulled James with him through the crowd until he could latch himself onto Sirius' back.

Sirius turned and the relief in his eyes could only match what Regulus was feeling as his brother tugged him into a fierce hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Sirius murmured into his ear.

Without releasing Regulus, he turned his head to look at James. "You're looking a lot better than when we last saw you."

"Alive is always a good start," James agreed, smiling. "I'm glad you guys are okay."

"Okay is relative," Sirius replied. "There's no lifeboats left. With all the panic, people lowered the lifeboats into the water before they were full and there weren't enough anyway. We've got… practically zero chance of getting on one of the last few left."

"Why the hell are you still here?" Regulus demanded angrily. "Dammit, Sirius, you could have been okay. You could have—"

"I was never going to leave you behind, Regulus," Sirius said, soft but firm. "You know that."

Regulus stared at him for a long moment before he pulled him into another hard but brief hug. "You're an idiot and if you die, I'm going to kill you, understand?"

Sirius chuckled. "I got it, Reg."

"So, how are we going to get off then?" James asked. "Because I gotta tell you, this isn't going well. It's going to snap. The weight of the water—"

"We don't have time for a science lesson, James!" Sirius said. "We're going to jump, and when we do, you need to swim. Swim as hard as you can, because if you're still in range when it snaps, the current will pull you down before you can blink. Got it?"

"Jump?" Regulus repeated weakly. "Into the water?"

"You got any better ideas, Reg?"

"Unfortunately not," Regulus admitted. "But—"

"You can do this," James said, squeezing his hand. "We'll do it together, okay?"

…

The water was _freezing. _The moment of contact was like slamming into concrete, and it knocked the air from Regulus' lungs, only for them to freeze as he was submerged fully into the ocean.

Blackness surrounded him, and he didn't know which way was up as he tumbled through the water at an alarming rate. He swam hard, pushing himself as well as he could in the direction he thought was up, but his vision was nil, and his lungs were filling and he thought that maybe, if he just stopped, if he just let himself float, then it—

He broke the surface and gasped, water trickling from his mouth as he tried to get some much needed oxygen.

"Regulus! Regulus!"

He turned, looking for James' guided by his voice.

"Regulus, swim!"

He did as James bid, swimming away from the looming ship as far and as fast as he could, but it was hard. It was too hard and he couldn't keep going for long. It was too cold, and his legs and arms were tensing up the more he tried to fight the quickly growing numb exhaustion.

He collided with a body, only to realise that it was Sirius wrapping an arm around him.

"Hold it steady," Sirius ordered, his voice shaking a little. Then Regulus was being pushed up onto a piece of driftwood, probably broken pieces of furniture from the ship.

Close by, he saw Remus clambering onto another, and then James was letting go of the one holding Regulus to do the same.

Sirius swam over to the one Remus was lying on and tried to pull himself up, but the momentum tipped them both into the freezing water.

Teeth chattering, Regulus could do little more than watch on in horror as Remus resurfaced but Sirius didn't for too many long seconds. Eventually, he saw his brother, and he sighed with relief.

Too soon, he knew, when he saw Sirius demanding Remus climb back onto the wood, holding it steady for him.

"Try again," he heard Remus urge. "You can get up here, Sirius, you can. It can hold us both."

Sirius shook his head tiredly, leaning on the wood.

"Sirius, please," Regulus whispered, unheard. "Please, please, please."

He kept up his mantra as the Titanic sank in the background, all the while knowing that it was for nothing, because Sirius had been in the water for too long.

He let himself drift, hazily in the dark night. He knew James floated somewhere close by, and he hoped that if any of them were to get out of this, it be him, because James deserved so much goodness in his life.

He thought he heard a whistle being blown on close by, but he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes.

He was so cold, and he was so tired.

He was just… hopeless.

…

_Epilogue_

...

James wrapped a blanket around Regulus' shoulders and then followed it with his arm, holding Regulus close to his chest. They were seated on a bench on one of the decks of the Carpathia, but none of it seemed real to Regulus.

The whistle, as it turned out, had been James. He'd seen it on the body of a dead staff member and taken a chance when he saw the torchlight of a returning lifeboat.

Remus sat a little way from them, staring blankly out to sea. Regulus felt sorry for him, he'd seen how much the man liked his brother.

Regulus couldn't bring himself to think of Sirius yet. He knew the facts, that his brother hadn't survived, that he'd become but a number in a sheet list of casualties, but he couldn't deal with the corresponding emotions yet.

He was numb, still cold from the water, but numb on the inside too.

He had no idea if his parents had survived. He thought he should probably go and look for them, but he couldn't bring himself to move away from the comfort of James' arms around him.

"How are you holding up, sweetheart?"

Regulus opened his eyes—he hadn't realised he'd closed them—to find Mrs Potter crouched in front of him, sympathy written into every line of her face.

He shrugged slightly, trying not to dislodge James' arm but unable to find the words to say how he felt. He didn't even _know _how he felt.

"Well, don't you worry about a thing, okay? You're going to stay with us in New York, and you'll travel home with us. We'll take care of you."

Regulus wanted to say that he didn't know if his parents were even alive and somewhere on the ship, recovering with everyone else, but he didn't. Even if they were, he didn't particularly want to see them.

He just wanted to stay right where he was, with James.

So he nodded, his throat tight. He managed to force out a softly spoken thank you, and she patted his knee comfortingly.

"What… what's going to happen to Remus?" he asked James eventually.

"Hmm? He wants to stay in New York," James said softly. "I don't blame him really, but I'll make sure he's okay, Reg, I promise. For Sirius."

"How are you feeling?"

James sighed but pressed his lips against Regulus' temple. "Like I wish a lot of what happened could just be a nightmare, but that I wouldn't trade it for anything if it meant I had to lose you."

Regulus blinked and then turned his head to look at James. "Really?"

"Really. We're going to be okay, Regulus. I won't promise it'll be easy, but we'll be okay."

As numb as he was, as much as he knew that his emotions were going to overwhelm him in the coming days, Regulus desperately wanted James to be right about that. He wanted them to be okay.

He thought that maybe together, they would be.


End file.
